I Once was a Baby Sis

I once was a baby sister. I had a great older sister. She was beautiful and loving. As children, we were sisters learning to be friends. Only 19 months apart, our mother dressed us as twins until we rebelled and refused to do it. As we got older and our bodies matured, I filled out and you were naturally slim. People tended to compare us though you never did. The most FAQ people would ask if I were older and I became your big little sis. I was proud to be your baby sis because you always had fun. I tagged along with you anytime you would let me which was more often than I wanted my own little sister to tag along with me.  Our stepfather gave us nicknames. Growing up I hated them but I would gladly tattoo them across my heart to have your back in my life.  I would give anything to be the Heavy Duty to your T-Bone. In my heart, I will always be your big baby sis.  If you were here today, we would be celebrating your 43^rd birthday. A piece of my heart is forever gone. RIP. RIL. Happy birthday. I miss you my sister, my friend.

I Cry at Night

I cry at night when all is quiet

And my thoughts come storming through

All the disappointments and unfulfilled desires

The mistakes and wrong choices I’ve made

My loved ones who have gone away

And for those who don’t take the time to get to know me

I cry at night when the lights go out

And the memories of my life scroll through my mind

Like a horror movie invading my nightly dreams

Reliving the lies, deceit and deception

Replaying what could have been, would have been

Wondering if I should have done it differently

I cry at night when no one is around

Tears flow from my eyes staining my face

Each drop representing a sorrow of yesterdays

I envision the teardrops flowing into a river

Inviting me to immerse my spirit

To cleanse my soul and give me peace.

© C. Stinson February 23, 2011

Love This Life Poem by David Culiner

LovethisLife...

is about celebrating the moment and that

we're not guaranteed or owed another day

and how cool it is that what we hide

can actually be the fuel towards our glory

and that it's not so bad being proven wrong

LovethisLife...

is about welcoming the blind turn

and the possibility that

there's no such thing as coincidence

and that empathy is incredibly sexy

and that it's never too late to

pick up a guitar or a paintbrush

or to make an amend or to make a new friend

LovethisLife...

could be about rekindling a past flame

or igniting a new one

or shapeshifting from a dreamer into a doer

or savouring the caress of a love long gone

LovethisLife...

means whatever it is you want it to mean because

LovethisLife...

is a celebration of you and your path

LovethisLife...

'cuz it could go at any second

you rock.

I read this poem last year on a new friend's t-shirt and loved it. This embodies my outlook on life..."Love This Life" because it's the one I have.

I want to Win a Nook Color

Pam at Bookalicio.us is having a two year blog anniversary. She is giving away tons of books and advance readers. The Grand Prize is a NookColor! Head on over to Bookalicio.us to enter.

Random Thoughts

Sometimes I wonder why people do the things they do...then I realize it doesn't matter. What matters is how I react or don't to it.

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What would you do when you have the chance to make your wildest fantasy become reality? Do you jump in with both eyes closed? Do you take this chance to do something that you have only dreamed about? Do you allow yourself to be free, uninhibited, and spontaneous? Do you live in the moment? Or do you walk away leaving a trail of regret, what ifs, and disappointment?

~~~~~~~~~~

I think when you get married, you should be required to wear something visible and non removable to let the world know you are married. I heard someone say once if a married man is going to cheat he should make sure the woman is single. WTF!!! (Excuse my language) but I don’t want a trifling man and married one is definitely a NO for me.

~~~~~~~~~~

Can you blame it on the alcohol if you are not drunk? Are there rules for that? I mean what if I only had one drink or what if I had the drink yesterday? What if I skip the drink but you don’t know it? I could pretend and say and do what’s on my mind.

~~~~~~~~~~

Why do people lie for no reason? I mean I didn’t ask for it I was minding my own business, going about my way. I didn’t solicit. You could have kept that one to yourself. Sometimes I think people talk just to hear the sound of their own voice.

~~~~~~~~~~

I have become a marriage counselor to a married friend. I’m single never married. Hmmm, isn’t that an oxymoron. I think I have missed my calling. I talked him off the ledge and back on track.

I’m In Love with a Woman

I’m in love with a woman
She is beautiful and kind
With the biggest heart you will ever find


If you try to mistreat her
You will have to deal with my wrath
So if that is your intent don’t cross her path


She’s has an inner strength
That has carried her through many trials
She appears meek, but when pushed can get hostile


Perfection is not her claim
She has her flaws and I love them all
If I need reassurance, she is the one I call


She treats me well
Even when I abuse and misuse her name
She takes it in stride and takes the blame


This journey to self love
Has not been an easy one to achieve
For as a child I was not lead to believe


I am in love with a woman
And to my delight she loves me too
Together we could love you.

An Untitled Musing

It's all consuming

It's overwhelming
It's overpowering.
It's undeniable
It's frustrating
It's fulfilling
It's heart-wrenching
It's soul stirring

It's heartbreaking

It's frightening

It's depressing
It's intense
It's lonely

It's empty

It's conflicting

It's....

What am I gonna do?

How can I deny it?

How can I accept?
How can I live with it?
How can I not?